When I was young I did not truly understand weight example: will you help us carry in the groceries its just 6 six bottles soda water I carry one cannot be that heavy so I picked it up with grunts and farts but up and carrying it, I just thought it was what it was hard to pick up but that’s it, yet walking a couple of steps and it is taken from me and was told it is too heavy for you, I thought what does heavy mean I did not understand it, too heavy for me? So there is a limit and some things are heavy and hard to carry while other things might be easy to carry with this new information things got heavier for me because it was supposed to be, (hope I am making sense) it was not that I thought I was the strongest, I just did not know what it meant “too heavy for you” a mixture of not understanding gravity and a dash of pride I would pick up everything dog food, tables, pots, often I was stopped before I put my back out or something I guess.
Getting older sometimes the reverse happened thinking that this one thing might be heavy I tens all my muscles take a deep breath and AGAHG!! I lift and almost jump of the ground and smack myself sense less because, I thought it was heavier than it was.
I wonder how Atlas felt, you know the man from Greek mythology that was condemned to hold up the sky on the western edge of Gaia (earth) because he sided with the Titans or something in that line. Most of us have seen the image of a man holding earth on his shoulders almost buckling under earth’s immense weight, (the weight of the world on your shoulders.) that is Atlas.
I wonder how he must feel carrying the world, is it what he expected or was it more, thinking on this led me down a silly thought which I would like to share with you, hope I can express this right
The first question that comes to mind is on what foundation is Atlas standing.
This I have no answer for yet it led to me thinking what if he is not carrying it at all.
That leaves me with two thoughts (I am sure there is a billion but these to entertained my brain on a jog back home)
One that there is no gravity in space so if he is holding on to earth and just floating along with it as not to drift in space.
Two that he is holding earth in place to not float away so he is not carrying but pulling it into space (get it space in space –dad jokes again.) anyway I was thinking if the world is heavy to carry I wonder if it is not just heavy because he believes it is, because he believes it was punishment so it must be heavy. I think often I have lived under the weight of my own thoughts and perception, I am this bad guy so this must be punishment this must be pain this must be the weight of the world on my shoulders, I deserve to suffer, another small example I enjoyed physical activities nothing exceptional but ten pushups was an easy task to accomplish yet when it was served as punishment it was as if I forgot I do enjoy this and it’s just ten suddenly my arms felt the weight.
For long has life been a punishment I am not exactly sure why I thoughts so if it was how religion taught me that God is a God that might Love you if you just do the right thing or the consistent advertising of life is difficult, especially at school they kept bombarding us with, if you fail at this you will struggle and suffer, TV advertisements saying if you don’t look like this doom upon you, or the news or just people that place the limits they believe in, on me, you cannot carry this it is too heavy for your life is hard, hard to get work hard to raise a family hard to time manage, hard to be a child of God hard hard hard hard DOOOOOM.
I have seen days where it might seem that the sun will not rise, I have experienced nights where all the monsters came out to play, I have lost loved ones, I know that those moments exist, yet it does not take away from life’s beauty it does not make life hard that moment died because it has past and the SON has risen now we hold hands when we lose loved ones, we cast light on monsters and watch shadow puppets dance on walls, and yes sometimes we curled up on the ground like a scared centipede and let out every tear you thought you had, yet you are not alone and your shoulders are free, and even more there is a beauty to all life, hard to see harder to believe especially when we are in the thick of it yet it does not make it less true.
I am slowly letting go what I have been taught about life (most of it was taught sublimely) letting go has made my pals open to reach for life and now I can say that I am truly enjoying it, life has become more precious more tender more beautiful, more life has become more and I feel privileged to live it. I often forget and quickly chuck the earth and sky on my shoulders, but I quickly shake myself of like a wet dog. (Maybe not as quick)
If you ever feel like Atlas than I encourage you to breath and let go you might just be floating on a beautiful life.
Thank you for reading
Peace and Love