I have been trying to keep up with my heart and passion as if it is something outside of me I have to chase. I am slowly realizing that I have understood my own insides wrong I have been externally living trying to find passion and keep up with what is supposed to be “hard work”. Because you have to work hard, the trade we are taught soon in life is everything comes at a cost and that you have to struggle or suffer or the exchange is unfair and that is no right. Now this might seem silly to you but honestly this is a part of me finding truth.
Back story time, I have from a young age decide to be an actor and my whole life was heading toward that direction, a lot has happened to lead the path on to what it is now.
I am writing and doing poetry, now to make a very long Richard drawn out story short, I just realized where my heart is, and it’s in poetry, writing, storytelling, and speaking.
Now back to what is hard work I think the key is enjoyment maybe I just understood things wrong but what I was sublimely taught was hard work cannot be done with a smile, around me there was people driving to work straight faced looked like the sacrifice was far too much, wake up early drive work, home, eat, sleep, repeat, hard work was not to be enjoyed, and that is where I think I got a bit confused.
Back to back story I am writing now and doing poetry, I have decided not to study not to get what people would call a real job, because I just could not see how I do life as I have seen it happen in front of me there has to be more, and so now I sit and write and perform spoken word piece from time to time. I think my point is I am approaching life a bit different from what you would call the “norm” but I am still now tackling my dreams with the slave and suffer mentality. Believing that I needed to do x amount of work and it has to be this way, and slowly I am killing my heart for writing and storytelling because I placed a pressure on me for a reason why I chose not to go the “normal” rout
Only now I see that “hard work” is consistency, time spent and by spending time we make sacrifices, time, money, comfort, and so on.
When we where young children we could do the things we enjoyed for hours, even forgetting to eat or bath the list goes on, our parents had to battle us to get back in or to go to bed, we where driven by passion and Love we did the hard work we did the time we made the sacrifices and we smiled,
Now I see that I have forgotten to love because I spent too much time on feeling guilty.
I think I will end with this for now listen to passion and love, laugh and enjoy this beautiful life live and enjoy this beautiful you. Child the mundane out of life!!!!!!!