Within the maze of my mind a small battle rages on, the reflecting on these poems I work on is a fatiguing process I have about sixty poems in this book I hope soon to publish, working on them is creating this war inside of my mind, at moments I feel this euphoria and then I feel disheartenment, the big struggle is since I wrote many of these poems I have changed grown and now one I feel some needs to change and in some cases they just don’t seem that good and it goes back and forth moment to moment.
Backing away from it seems to help, if it is me escaping to write this blog or just walk outside just gives me a freshness, and then I am ready to battle on.
another part of the battle is I feel like I just need to get it done now just finish it has been a while coming and I don’t want to postpone anymore I feel it needs out, and some of it is self-pressure, because it seems to hold back on other books and projects I want to start and finish.
Now, what? is the question I ask myself this takes me back to yesterday, and the small victories, realising that a line is a line, at times I focus on a poem, and sometimes I break it down to focus on just the word, just this one what does it say? how does it feel? would I say this? and then move on to the next word, because as a whole it feels too intimidating to write a book, but I can do words all day.
Word for word a book is written.
I hope that me sharing some of this with you helps you in whatever way, if you have a huge task ahead of you and it might seem this mountain that is way to hard to climb overtake it at a step, look back and honestly see where you are, before I started this book i had empty white pages now I have sixty plus poems and, all that happened to me is beautiful.
if you feel that you are on the seesaw of euphoria and disheartenment than realise its the judgment that brings you back to losing heart, do not lose heart, keep going take it on with little battles and see that you are getting it done don’t quite keep going, keep it up.
Your work is beautiful when it’s done from the heart
Thank you for reading