It is inside

My heart knew what my thin worn patience did not,
That I would get better.
Discipline deafens the voices that speak negatively
Now I am almost proud.
Almost.

I don’t know how it works nor why but the fact remains if you keep doing a certain thing you will get better at it, I could only do five push-ups and with consistency five turned to ten, twenty and thirty its a beautiful thing,
I suck at most things in the beginning, while most feel already a class or two above me, I am just slow with a new skill and yet I can still become quite good at that thing I was really bad at.

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I have shared before that I wrote a bit as a youngster, not anything with focus it was just my way of release I almost did it without noticing, it was just my heart revealing itself to me, but let’s say it came naturally to me to write little poems and short very short stories, I neglected to work on it I neglected to be disciplined and consistent. Now I see what I could have done just to be that bit sharper and even more comfortable because you know that you are good, but I also felt uncomfortable and almost like a fraud because I know that my grammar and spelling is not on pare I am far off and I have to still catch up on some basics and yet I wat to be a writer, I felt ashamed and shy, sometimes I still do why even write a blog about writing, what is wrong with you, you are a sham.

The heart has vision, beyond what the eyes can see.
Consistency removes the veil of doubt
I now hear the drums beating
Now I am believing

I have been writing more often and more focused and been reading more often, I am only now seeing what the great writers before me have said that reading is almost more important for a writer than writing.

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What I have realised is that with discipline and consistency you start seeing what the heart already knows, that you can do it that you are good enough. Just with writing this blog I have seen how I have improved and I know I have a long way to go, I am more excited than fearful now because it is starting to dawn on me that I can do it, and all that I need to do is write and read, spend time in my craft and be in love with what I am doing and that part was there from the start it is not a choice for me it is my love personified.

It was inside me all along
Between sheets of paper
It was there between the hours and the pages
It is here in this moment
It is potential waiting to escape.

Thank you for reading.
Peace and Love.