Time after time

What do we do now, with the time that has been given?
I know I do not hold it but I know I have it.
What is worth my time or do I give time its worth?
An hour lived by the heart
Is worth more than days just alive.

I am alive and I forget it time after time, I drown between the “your supposed to” and the dramas of life forgetting that I am alive now at this very moment, and I might not be the next.action-man---hasbro-1997---crossbow-p-image-337450-grande
Why do I keep doing this, I live in the moments to come, when the announcement for a lockdown has been made, I lived in the future in the time when lockdown starts, and now that I am in the future I so desired to just start, I find myself living in tomorrow, it seems that confusion is nothing new, time after time I forget to just be present.
Now I hear the clock ticking and I think of life and its possibilities and opportunities I have, flashbacks of when I was a child all I had was now, it was beautiful to be that free and in unison with my heart, I was not aware that I could die any second but I did not burden the moment with thoughts of something else I was fully alive with my action man fighting bad guys.

Making castles with my hours to house my time
Making walls with my minutes to fortify them
Making sand angles with my seconds
So that my time can fly by safely
Forgetting that the ocean is hungry

sand_castle_cannon_beach

Often we spend time with the attempt on making time and losing more in return, I have been focused on the fragility of life and that has made me more aware of the moments and I am happy for that but I know that there is more to it, honestly I forget the gift of time, and when I forget I am not grateful and if you are not grateful how do you appreciate what you have been given, it is not as I wake up and I regret that I am alive or that I am angry for my time, it’s worse, I have grown accustomed to waking up expecting to wake up and it is so subliminal, but it’s true I miss so many seconds in a day just because I expect them to be there.
Now I try to take a moment in the day go for a walk and make myself aware of what is going on not the drama the moment, I walk and feel the air that caress my skin, how the clouds always find beautiful shapes and formations the sounds the smallest of insects make, walk and hear the grass bend and break under my weight be aware that I am breathing and then I start to realise that I am free, lockdown or not I am free and that makes me excited and it’s as if at that moment I can communicate with my heart more clearly than ever and I can hear it.
We unpack a suitcase of memories, laugh and then I want to run again and my heart will say “your walking too far ahead”, You’re calling to me, I can’t hear and then I remember to go slow and listen, listen to the song

If you’re lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall, I will catch you, I’ll be waiting
Time after time
If you’re lost, you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall, I will catch you, I will be waiting
Time after time
Secrets stolen from deep inside.

This song has been stuck in my mind for a while now because I hear my heart singing these words, there is time and for most of us now it seems that we have more than usual but its to not be aware of the time but the moment and realise how beautiful now is and you will feel gratitude warm your skin as the song of your heart grows louder.

What do we do now, with the time that has been given?
Spend it with your heart
Be alive
Alive with all your Love.

Thank you for reading.
Peace and Love

 

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