Why dont I finish

There are many incomplete books on my shelf, I have been writing, this book, that book, I have jotted down some ideas for this other book
I have started writing this new book, I have completed none.

I have ideas most of us do, the trouble is the execution, it is a struggle to finish what you started to see it through all the way, its exciting to open a box of lego’s but it is hard to complete that idea to build that man you wanted, open-chest-lego-man-man-lego-sculpture-wallpaper-preview

most things we set out to do starts off with the passion and excitement at level thousand because we wanted to if it is the painting we want to paint or puzzle we want to build or we want to write a book, I have the character in mind and a good idea what he or she will face.
Yeah, then I go and sit and fall in love writing a storm someone has to pull the pen from my hand to let me stop but then after a good two hundred words, I feel it a speed bump I push a little harder then I notice after this bump my path is a gravel road filled with bumps, and then I remember I have this other idea, short left to the next story and this can wash rinse repeat endlessly.

There is something attractive and alluring about starting something, it’s like opening a new box of shoes you just would like to give them a sniff, but you don’t want to sniff

indexsmellthem after you have run in them for months the smell is different, it is a struggle to complete something because the middle is not as rewarding as the start nor finish the middle is often lonely and we have no idea how far along we are in the process.
It’s similar to a marathon you there at the start maybe you got there with friends and family, they all there cheering at the start and all the other people running as well, BAM the shot goes off and slowly your fellow runners and the crowd shrinks and often you find yourself alone on this path facing a steep uphill with tired legs, the middle is often a lonely battle and then we desire the crowd again the exhilaration of the start so we postpone our work and start something just to face that uphill again, and then you guest it find something to start.
We have to keep going because it is the middle that makes the end all the more rewarding, and we forget that it is not just to finish and seeking good feeling it is that we want to finish, I want to write a book not just for the feeling I gain from it but because it is a part of me I need to release it, it is what I love to do, and leaving dreams incomplete, can leave you in a dark place, I have felt it, it makes one think that it is impossible it makes room for doubt and it makes you afraid even to start something new.

I think the biggest reason for not finishing a thing is fear, because the closer we come to our heart, the more vulnerable and exposed we feel if I finish a book that is me that there it is what I wrote, I can not take it away or change it, I can with years change and grow but that book was me in that year, and that scares me, and I know that is why I can be deep in one of my books close to finishing and then it gets extremely difficult to finish I am filled with all kinds of excuses but I know deep down that it is just fear, fear that keeps me from completing a book. remember the path with the bump and the gravel road before the short left, that bump and gravel road is fear and doubt the more I move forward the more I hear the possible comments and the possible thoughts of other people, I start to see my work differently and I begin to doubt, that is the middle that is the bumpy uphill gravel road, we must not quit we can not take a short left from our heart, you will always want to come back because it is your heart and you can not turn away from your heart it will always whisper, always.

You have had the courage to discover you, you have had the courage to open the puzzle, grab the paint, open the blank sheets, you have had the courage to start, now breath deep and just keep moving, don’t walk away the hill will be there but you have good smelling shoes on you can finish it will take time so take your time but keep walking.

Thank you for reading
Peace and Love

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s