Wake up

Wake up Richard its time to go write, you decided to do it this way wake up go and write. No one will know sleep a bit longer write later you will get it done besides you don’t have anything to go write about yet.
Richard WAKE UP!!!!
Waking up is not just getting up from bed that is the first challenge yes but wake up life is now and it is beautiful and you are doing something you love and you are surrounded by love and I have no clue how long it will last here on earth, well how long I will be alive to have the opportunity to live, I can get so lost in “doing it right” that I completely miss doing it.
It is not just with writing I remember a day a stunningly beautiful day I spent the day at a girls house and I liked her, I liked her a lot I am close to her family and we were entertaining her sisters baby boy till he drifted asleep I remember the boy falling asleep with that kind of quiet magic as if the world around him is for him, I remember looking at her just in awe of how strong she is and kind, and then a moment just a moment I felt it I knew this is it, time to be brave lean in and kiss her…
NOPE!!! Fear filled Richard just looked at her and the moment drifted to sleep never to wake again. I have stayed friends with her becoming increasingly close and more open as years went by one day I asked her about the day and she said yes she would have kissed me neither of us knows where a simple kiss takes a story, no regrets she is happy now with a child of her own.

I am just aware that there are moments like this one now while writing this blog where I can fear to kiss or I can lean in and kiss embarrass myself maybe the moment pulls away and says this is not it, or maybe she leans in as well and fireworks and music, either way, the pull away or the fireworks I chose to be alive and lean in. I think of Akins my friends German Sheperd, how he will come to you if you have been away and give all his love if you bend down to greet him he gives all of him, all of his face his nose, his tongue, slobber his kiss on you, its love unguarded and free.

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I am often just so focused that I have to do it write that I don’t do anything at all, I want the book to be perfect {whatever that means} I want to see it more clear am I a writer, I want more hints and signs from her, I am afraid I lean in and get embrace so I need to do it perfectly I need to do it exactly right missing out on a moment, here it is… and there it goes that is a moment, and I remind myself not to live in the past but to be aware and notice moments, moments to passionately be alive, unguarded and free.
WAKE UP!!!!

Thank you for reading Peace and Love.

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