I have been walking a lot in this field where I currently stay, I have walked it so often that there now is a visible path. Today as I was just doing another lap and thinking about the book I am writing and life, in general, I noticed that my friends dog Akin is walking behind me on this path I walked, I felt like mamma duck, weird but true, my mind wander aimlessly and stumbled across a memory, a memory of a park that was close by the house that I grew up in, and how many times have I walked in that field following the steps that were laid before me, this park is near and dear to me its a treasure trove of memories.
I remember, the day I sat on a swing as a child and a bee sat on my thumb I remember looking at it and flicking it away unaware that it might sting and zing I got stung. I remember some times in Sunday school the teacher said let’s go sit in the park and have class and we crossed the street and we were transported to the park, not sure all the reasons why but it did make class different and exciting, every time it happened.
I remember training for the next season athletics and running around the park and sometimes inside, I remember climbing up the slide and reciting poetry, practising my cast with the new fishing pole my friend bought me, I remember trying to woo a girl in the park, training my dog there, walking back home from training and cutting through the park, Riding my bike inside and attempting ramps, I even remember having a fight in the park with my friend. I remember sitting there writing poems walking around aimlessly hoping for inspiration, I remember just standing in the middle of the field at night just looking up at the stars, taking the time to be stunned and offering my breath to be taken and often it was, I hope now that there is someone walking in the park and just enjoying it, I do miss that park.
Now I am here in this field walking around staring up at the sky having conversations with God, looking at the stars, I am walking and feeling the sun on my skin, already a lifetime of memories live here, some sad and real painful some beyond magical and ones that will live lifetimes, in my memory, now I am walking a path and writing a story that has been living in my heart and mind for many years I walk and talk I play with Akin, I pray, I remember I regret and I hope, and now I just did one lap, the places we stay they are just a place we make it special, we live in them, I see how in the park I recited poetry of writers and now I am writing my own, honestly my life does not make any sense.
I guess I am a little bit nostalgic, going through memory lane while walking aimlessly in this field, I am encouraged to see that the circle I am walking, that I am moving forward years ago I read poems of people now I am writing my own, how does that make sense I did not se it coming but looking back, I ask myself how could it not.
I have honestly been heavy and I still am a bit with the thought of things going in circles and not changing and that it is going to be an endless loop and what I see is, I have been moving forward in my little loop, I am encouraged and inspired to continue, even if it feels like I am running on a hamster wheel I know it is not true, we are moving forward and that is beautiful and if you find yourself in a loop walk, walk it good and strong walk so that you leave an imprint walk proud your steps will be embedded and will inspire other to walk on.
Thank you for reading.
Peace and Love.