I am a little heavy while I write this, my mind burdened by a future I cannot tell and hopes that does not seem fair, today every word I wrote seemed weighted as if from my hand the fear and doubt drifted in my pen even the page seemed a little bit darker. I sat outside on an open field and tried to quite myself because honestly sometimes I can talk far too much even if only to myself, I notice the tree that has rocks placed around it, the tree holds to its green despite the changing of the season, it keeps standing I am inspired by this tree, I wonder what has it seen or heard, I feel like at times I am losing what has grown on me and I feel it’s something I cannot bear to handle, so I stand up and move I walk to the tree and back to the patch of grass I sat nice and warm, I lift my pen and I write and the flow starts I feel it still some distraction around me but I keep head down and write, happy to say on this page that felt dark, now filled either the bones of a poem and that excites me.
Went to go fetch a camera and shot an introduction video for my Patreon page (More of Patreon next week) and after that I freestyled a poem, and the flow inspired me, and it made me think season come and we can battle to keep our leaves we can fight to hold on to the green, but losing some leaves is okay because rooted we still stand, because we are some winters and springs jumping between season and that’s okay it’s not about keeping leaves it more about standing its more about writing another line and then another its again doing it, when I started writing this blog I felt that heaviness again not all of it has subsided because I can hear the voice there in the dark hall at the back I know the voices well, I wonder I fear and I hope, hope sometimes feel like trying to light a candle with a short match, as if the act of flicking the match against the box might burn your fingers as well before the candle gets light and sometimes you won’t get it right with match one, and with every flick of the wrist you know that dreaded sting but you also know the candle is ready to be lit.
I am ready and eager to create and write I feel more committed than ever I have pockets filled with shortened matches but I am not afraid of the sting.
Thank you to every one of you who has followed and who is reading my blog I am excited for next week many little new things coming and that makes these burnt and burdened fingers relieved.
Have an epic weekend
Thank you for reading.
Peace and Love