Trouble with the voice

I have recently been struggling to write poetry, the struggle comes with this new voice, yes in the previous blog I spoke about discovering it, now it’s more about spending time with it, and crafting it and that has made writing a bit more challenging but specifically, poetry has been difficult for me, it has been a while since I finished a poem, yesterday I posted a poem we are, I wrote it a while back at the beginning of discovering this different way of writing this different voice but since than I have started many poems and many good lines, well what I believe to be good other than that I feel at a poetic drought.drought
The thing is I can no longer rely on the gimmicks and techniques of old because that is not me, and I know that they work, I know when I perform a spoken word poem I started to know what works, and that is good and beautiful, it is easy to fall into the habit of doing what works and becoming complacent and lazy because you know that doing it this way is enough.
As I said now before I want to do more than enough I want to spend the time in being honest, and that is what I am struggling with because I know how I don’t want to write, but I am finding it difficult to discover how I want to write, I have been working on a poem now for over a month and I find new and creative ways to write it and a couple of good lines but my arsenal feels empty, I feel as if I am limited it’s not the words it’s not the sound but it is the heart, there is something I want to say and it just does not seem right.
The poem is important to me it is about someone I knew, and they passed away and I felt moved to write about her, but the words do not express what I want to say, then I have been working on another poem and it just feels too mundane to me, maybe someone might read it and say that it is good maybe, but to me, it’s not about being good it’s about writing this piece as it feels inside.

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I am inspired by the poets of old they had a lovers tongue with langue’s while today feels a bit more selfish almost as if it is losing the romance and became lust full expletives, today one would say something like “The problem with being short, you can’t get to the top shelf…” it’s almost a statement and then comes a bunch of “like” sentences.
Always reaching looking like a child in a shopping mall
On your tiptoes trying, reaching until…
Someone tall comes along, let me get that toilet paper.
That would be the punchline cute and true still good but it’s not attracting me anymore not say that it’s wrong but to me, it feels lacklustre and bland.
While the poets of old would address the shortness without sounding like he or she is complaining I cannot write in that tongue I am trying to discover it. I guess it would be something more in the line of…
I am a lover on my toes,
Eyes closed waiting
Waiting for her kiss,
Yet it does not come,
I am inches away,
Always close but never there,
O am I cursed to be in reach but never to hold.

Honestly, that feels like a failed attempt. Today it seems more to get the point across or make a statement so to say something the words don’t matter as long as the point gets said, I am lonely, or I feel discriminated, while it feels as if the poets of old would hide the subject behind something transparent and always seemed to have spent time on their words as each word is there with a purpose and the poem would be lost if you take one word away I am intensely inspired by this.

What I am finding difficult with is crafting the poems they are there, even ideas and what could be good or interesting ways to present but I see that there is more as if I am looking into an endless horizon and each time I cross a hill there is more to be seen more to explore and this has been tiring to me and a little bit frustrating as I want to get things done, and then I don’t want to neglect this, this gift, this art I want to spend my time with it, as it is more than an, it to me writing and poetry is my Love and I want to be good to her and spend time getting to know who we are together, all this sounds a little weird and yet it also seems right, as I have said many times before writing is an expression of who I am it is the language of my heart and I want to say each word and write every poem in that language the language of my heart.

Thank you for reading
Peace and Love.

 

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