Frustration and failure

One of my biggest struggles is failing I hate it in every single way.
I hear the quotes coming already you don’t fail you only find how not to, failure is the step to success the only failure is quitting, I have heard so many and love quoting them because they are true, and maybe failure is an acquired taste, a taste I have not grown accustomed to.
When was a youngster I did not enjoy avocado I would have a staring contest with the bread when my mamma slathered it with AVO on I have devised plans not to eat the AVO, I at that time HATED AVO, as my luck would have it our neighbour had a tree, an avocado tree and he is a kind and sharing neighbour and on random mornings you would walk out and there in front of you a bag hanging stretched to its limits with AVO!!!!
On the mornings I was lucky enough to find the dreaded bag hanging there I would just make sure some of the avocadoes don’t make the short journey home (Sorry mother.)
Only after high school did I accept that one cannot always avoid this green silky pear so I ate when served or when offered and now I find myself buying the suckers that I once despised and could receive freely.

Failure, I hope I grow accustomed to you.
Often you are all that’s on the menu
Served freely
The more I try and swallow you
The fuller my plate seems.
The waiter keeps dishing you.


I know that most things that I see as failure is not actually, failure and again I hear the words of all the greats that have failed their way to success, and I know that at someplace I have rewired my brain to see things as a failure when I know that it is not, but damn I get so frustrated with myself when I perceive that I have failed and then comes the double whammy I feel like a failure when I feel like a failure because I know I am not.
The reason I am writing this is to get it out on this page and if you can relate then I say I feel you friend it is a difficult thing to battle, somewhere along my lifeline I started to believe a lie, a lie that making a mistake, that not catching the ball, is not only an oops, but that proves my identity I am the mistake, I am the oops, I am the one that lets things slip.
Whenever you adopt an external thing as your identity it becomes messy and often painful.

Failure I have been the waiter
Seeking you in the pantry
Digging in freezers to find your lifeless carcase
You are nothing but a mad up dish
That I like to serve myself
If I do find you on my plate
I will devour you with a side of avocado
For now, I will let the plater fall
The glass break
Look at what I mess I made
I will dance in it.

Thank you for reading may you all have an epic Monday and week ahead.

Peace and Love.

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