Mark: “Are you writing every day, disciplined… martial arts discipline?”
On a walk with my friend Mark, we talked about everything, and then he caught me off guard and asked me about my writing, am I writing everyday disciplined? with a bunch of (hum… well?? kind of…) answers, I realised something for the tenth thousandth time, and I think I write it in almost every blog, the important thing is to write, writing a book you must sit and write.
The truth is I have been writing more than before but I also have been avoiding what I need to write and that is the book I want to publish, but I have been dodging that task because I am afraid and I have to say I dodged that one like Neo dodge bullets, I don’t even have to.
I have been keeping myself distracted by tasks and writing things that I want to and love to write like the blog, poetry and other things, new things to start, because the closer I get to the end of something the more real it gets and then I quit (obviously I don’t tell myself that I am quitting) I place it on hold, while I do something new, or something to help fund my dream or something, to gain more exposer and days slip away into years.
My friend Bernard has been a huge inspiration this week, he just became more focused at what he wants to do instead of having an hour-long chat about becoming focused he is doing it, a man of action and a great inspiration to me.
Now again here I am with words on a page, and a book still needs to be written.
It is as if I have been training for a fight but only did the fitness and little bit technique, no sparring.
I have been writing, that kept my fitness up and helped me refine my craft a bit, it helped me find more how I write, but writing a blog and writing a poem and writing a novel are vastly different, I need to climb in the ring and fight need to get knocked a bit and hopefully, I will learn to write, my hand will only be raised if I finish what I started and for that to happen I need to write.
I need to write, disciplined… martial art, disciplined.
The struggle is not the fitness nor the technique, the struggle is the fear of getting hurt, and rejection hurts more than punches.
The thought of your heart, a dream, to be revealed and not understood or judged harshly, the chance for your heart to be rejected is daunting, to say the least.
I believe fear fades when confronted with practice and trust in your technique, the one is not more important than the other, I have to write even silly things to keep fit, and trust my technique, it is that final step of climbing in the ring and to say I am, that step, for me is the most fearful step when both feet are in the ring when you fight you trust you react, but walking towards that ring, giving that book to a friend, publishing it those steps are the heaviest.
It is Monday and I hope you all know what steps make your feet tremble the most, I encourage you to take them, walk freely walk brave, be focused and disciplined, know what you have to do, take a chance take a step.
Thank you for reading.
Peace and Love.