Vulnerability

“Look at a flower and see we are at our most beautiful when we open up.” –Shane Koyczan.

Look at His stained sleeves
Look at the tremble
Look at how it bleeds.

I was an emotional kid; I felt and felt a lot, my mama and granny would say that he is in touch with his (feminine side) in touch with his emotions, but with the passing of time, I realized that I was perceived as weak.
No kid wants to be seen as weak so I changed, for the largest part of my childhood strength was the denial of pain or more one should not feel pain, if you do, that means you are weak, so if you feel it, hide it, swallow your tears, don’t show what you are feeling and then you are strong and it worked there were many moments in my life when I was seen as strong just because I became good at hiding pain, I became good at denying what I felt.

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Strength was being invulnerable, having no weakness Superman does not flinch when he is shot by a gun. What of kryptonite? Well, then he was a normal man, not superman he was weak.
Most of us know that that is some bullshit. True strength cannot be measured or quantified; we all have it within us, it comes from a limitless source.
What I have realized is that being vulnerable requires the most strength one of the most courageous things to do is to be vulnerable.

Look at His open palm
Look at what beauty He holds
Look at it dancing in His hand.

Being vulnerable (to me) is revealing who you are, and that sadly has become a scary thing to do.
We all have things on the heart, and they might be difficult to say, even to the people close to us because it takes of us to reveal those things if you feel like you need to quit your job or drop out of college or you need to move, those feelings you can’t describe but you just feel it, they can be very intimidating saying it out loud. Trusting that whisper inside, acting on it can be extremely exposing, perusing our dreams is an act of taking out our hearts, and saying to the world here I am this is me. Opening up, if it is being honest about something or if it is taking a risk on something is a beautifully dangerous thing, because an exposed heart may be fragile and having it open dancing on your palm, people might just touch it right on the feels, that’s why so many of us, only live in our minds afraid of being hurt.
Even today when I went out taking photos again with Mark I was afraid to show him the photos I took because what if he thinks it is shit and I don’t want to be shit in anyone’s eyes especially a friend’s, what if I don’t measure up, what if I disappoint, I believe many can relate, why is it scary to tell our parents that we don’t want to go on the path that was planned now, if it is school or job because we don’t want to hurt or disappoint the people we care for the most, and the people we care or the most, often are the closest to touch that trembling heart in just the right way and place, being vulnerable is the most courageous act.
It requires a lot of strength to be vulnerable, a strength that we don’t believe we have because we might think that being vulnerable is weak or thinking to carry everything is being strong.
Superman’s true moments of strength was when he had none when he taped into something else and revealed who he is even without his power, we are strong not because we can lift x amount of weights, we are strong because we have a source of strength to tap into, an endless ocean of strength, there if we let go and trust if we stand up and say here I am this is me.
We are fragile hearts dancing vulnerably in the strongest hands.

Look at that outstretched arm
Look at that strength
Look at His hearts dancing on His palm
Thank you for reading.
Peace and Love.

2 Comments

  1. Woah.
    The honesty and rawness in this post just hits you in the feels.
    I am so glad you wrote about this, it resonated with me.
    And the little bits of poetic verses you added in between made it even more beautiful to read.
    Not to mention the quote in the beginning. 🌻🌠
    A very true beautiful piece worth reading. ✨

    Liked by 1 person

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