By the side, I sit, with toes submerged
I only see the cannonballs splash
I see them come up for air
I will never know the depth unless I jump
But I don’t, I wait with my toes in the water.
Every day I have the same struggle the small circle of truth I need to face, write Richard write, tell your story do not fear, and yet I keep distracting myself with false opportunity or just plain fear, running away from what I need to do. You know that I have written this down in most of my blogs, I am a broken record hoping that if I keep repeating this part I might jump on the next track and I will be singing a new tune. Truth every day I skip less and I am doing more just frustrated with my own process, I want the story of my life to be different than what I am living currently, I want the story to be told that I sat down hours writing my book but now the story is more that I am learning, only how to sit down and write for hours, now the story feels less impressive to me, (I know that it is not) (I know it does not matter what people think.) I do think of how the story of my life will be told after I have lived it.
I realize that every day I am telling that story, and I have the choice of how it will be told, every day is an opportunity to define my character, every day I face my struggles and I can choose who I want to be in this story, how would I want a character to live this part? How would I want a character to battle this? Who do I want the character to be when faced with fear?
I can live it as if I wrote it because I am writing it as I live it.
That is an encouraging thought, I can write the pages of my life, it is freeing to think that I am not just a reaction to life’s whims; I have actual say on how I want to live and honestly express who I am.
The matrix is one of my most favorite movies, (there might be a blog on just how amazing it is.)
In the matrix, there is a character the Oracle and to some extent, she can perceive the future and people go to her to find direction and purpose, now without going in detail about all that, there was more than one occasion when she told a character to make up their own damn mind.
She hits the nail on the head there are so many things that we keep our mind distracted with, and we play out scenarios where we will be most efficient, if I had this or if someone could just… We live in places that we are not currently in and we envy this dream world, where we will be the best place to pursue or dream instead of making up our minds and doing the required action.
That is it for me, make up your damn mind and do it.
If the situation you are in needs to change don’t live in a place where you imagine it to change, change it, if I need a quieter place to write I must go out to a quieter place to write, I cannot blame the busy street, I can go for a walk to a quieter place. I am writing my life I can either write solutions or excuses, and the thing that holds most of us back is fear, we find ourselves sitting on the edge of the pool with only our feet inside and we wonder if we should jump in we analyze the choices of others, try and find how did he or she cannonball, we try and find out how deep, how cold, how, how, how, and yet we still stay seated with our minds not made up, and we see life go by.
Standing up and running, jumping toward the unknown depths takes courage but you can do it, just decide.
Thank you for reading.
Peace and Love.