Understanding choice.

I made the choice
I closed the book
Left the starving pages to hunger another day.
I will not leave my mark today.

Who we are is the greatest gift we will ever receive and giving of ourselves is the greatest gift we can ever give, but we don’t know who we are, we are told who we are from young, you are good at math, or bad at language, you are more this type of guy or you should do this or that, you are a creative or a practical thinker, labels are stuck on us as soon as we can breathe, look he is strong, she is a dancer she danced before she can walk, good or bad often we are told who we are rather then us discovering for ourselves.
Walk into any large group and see the small groups and clicks that form, people seeking where they fit, seeking others to affirm who they are so that they can fit in. Who are you? Do you know why you like what you do? Do you understand why you make the choices you make?
There is another part in the Matrix where the Oracle says to Neo “You didn’t come here to make the choice. You’ve already made it. You’re here to try to understand why you made it.”

There is much to be said about that part of the movie and things need to be taken in context, but what sticks to me is that we need to get to know ourselves, there are many things we get taught but there are hidden gems inside of us, that is just us, some like avocadoes and other licorice and some eggs others tomato, we have tastes that is just us, we have our own, sense of humor the list goes on, but there are parts still hidden within us things that we have to unlearn so that we can discover it for ourselves, there were things I decided to like or not like just because a friend or my brother likes it, I chose to like it or dislike it because of their opinions but I have not sat down and ask myself do I like peanut butter? Do I like this movie?
We see things in our own, way, our own, perspective, but we easily adopt perspectives, we accept the way someone else sees things rather than asking how do I see this?
Last Matrix reference for this blog, but after Neo was set free from the pod (thing) he was in, he was laying on a table with Morpheus over him and asked why do my eyes hurt? Morpheus replied, “You never used them.”

eyes hurt2

We are our own, lucky packet, and I am realizing more and more how important it is to discover you. I need to know why do I step away from the pursuit of something I cherish or enjoy, if I do not know why I choose what I choose I might as well be a program following the flow of life, I will be stuck in this circle and not move forward and I will always say things like, “I want to write a book” but not write it, always follow the patterns I make, because I did not ask myself what do I fear, and why do I fear.
I already chose, I want to write, but not understanding why I will be caught in the “Almost world” the “kind of” I almost wrote a book, I am kind of a writer. I am almost kind of…
I did not have to choose for I am.
Today I leave my mark
Feed hungry pages my heart.
Today I did not choose for I am.
Today I was alive because I know myself.

What I am trying to say is we are a many-layered gift from God addressed to us, and we need to unravel the gift that is us, me, you.
Thank you for reading.
Peace and Love.


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