The days I fear most.

We all know the battle of a day, when you wake up, you face the things that you need to do, and the things that you would like to do, and then all the day does, is go by.
This day is only this day but don’t let it pass by without making it wave.
A day seems small when you measure it against a year, but a day is large when you measure it against an hour, a day is not over until the last hour has struck.
Many days I have felt that I might have missed out on the opportunity of the day and yet there are still many hours left in the day to turn it around.
Those days have often felt most special, when it is four or five the afternoon and I felt like I just F-UP this whole day, as if I have done many wrongs and I have been nasty to friends or family and I have wasted much of the day, I have felt hurt and all I want is the day to pass, instead I go for a walk, run, nap for forty minutes, dust myself off and say I am going to turn this day around even if it has a limited time left it is not too late to make this day a winning one, those days are the ones that stick with me, the days I said no to the imposter inside of me and said I am going to sit down and finish this poem or I am going to do what I planned, it is as if from that battle I have become more aware of the truth of who I am this is the Richard when the chips are down and things might be stacked against me.
But those days ask for acts of heroism, a bad day shouts turn this around or you will feel shit, and we often do, we ask friends for support, or we know that we need rest and being productive today is sitting in the sun or reading a book or whatever today is taking care of my mind and heart, a bad day asks for action form us and we act.
The days I fear most are the days that seem to slide by unnoticed as if it is a quiet pond frozen into stillness, no pebble to cause ripples it is the days that go by unnoticed into the next it is those days I fear most, the day nothing happens no good nor bad just a moment frozen and we slide by without impact.

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These days are often lost in between waiting for “The day.”
3, 2, 1, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! What happens on December 28,29,30,31? There is a lot of waiting for the new year we standstill counting the last seconds away of the old year, moments slip away, I do not mean let us work every seconded of the day and not have epic count downs, what I am noticing in my life, there are days that can be lost in-between the waiting, waiting for the weekend or the big interview, a birthday a wedding.
Then some days just slip by, the mundane routine wake up, do your morning rituals and then go to work and it slides by, there is little that challenge you, and then back home and then the evening routine, bed and sleep and a whole day went by with you being barely alive, we all have different routines which we know so well we do not have to think to act we just float along the river of the day and that, scares me.

I want to be aware of every day, I want to be alive and I believe that there are many ways to be alive and not fall into a stream of nothingness, something I want to focus on is doing what I truly want without fear or shame, even if there might be, to do it, despite the fear and the shame.
I want to write, books and if I do not make an effort the day to write that book I am starting to drift in a river that never runs free.
We all know the battle of the day, but way battle, why are Mondays blue and Fridays a relief?
This is not living, every day is a beautiful day there might be battles and tragedy on some even many, but we are alive, and may we be alive, every day that we are, well I hope to be.
Again as always thank you for reading.
Peace and Love.

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