The idea was born out of anger, frustration, and fascination.
I have a friend that has a shop on the corner Church and Oxford honestly it is a magical place where all people come to have some food or snack, I often went to his shop just to sit down and experience the town, I don’t know if it is the braai calling everyone or just the heart of the man behind the counter but all kinds of people walk into his shop, all skin tones, after school energetic children buy chips and play outside his shop, frail old people would snail in and buy some grandpa and cigarettes and shuffle back home, if you would sit in his shop for a day you would see every season of human being, the night calls the drunk a bit closer sometimes the time of day does not matter, weary travelers and opportunistic salesman that want their product sold in his shop, people on their break, even some poets and photographers.
Some time back I was tiered and worn out, I honestly did not know what to do with myself at home it felt as if I was swirling into a drain and alone there was no friends in town at that stage, and I just felt overwhelmed I crawled on to my bicycle thinking I will just cycle around saw his shop and remembered he was friendly maybe I will sit there and write a poem, as soon as I walked in, he smiled a truly powerful smile a smile that has a hopeful promise that better days are yet to come, he said hello, please sit sit sit, he just kept insisting that I should sit so I did, he brought food and drink and we spoke, I told him that I just felt shit and that I was in a negative space and he shared his heart with me and I could not help, I wanted to fight it but I started to cry, he laughed and said oh God oh God (in a enduring way as if he spoke to God at that moment) he gave me a hug customers all around the kids playing, the old shuffling in and out, across from us a man seemingly passed out, or just sleeping, everything happening at once and after his hug and some food that moment passed, I felt no judgment.
This is life in his shop I was just another season that came and passed but he is the sun of that corner where all this good, bad, weird, tired, energetic, and madness spin around.
It has been six or seven posts and it has been probably most of this year that I have made you wait for this poem I have spoken about Church Street, yes and this is yet another post. There are a bunch of tiny reasons why this has taken as long as it has, the two main reasons are fear, and that I was unsure of where to go with the poem.
Where did I want to go with the poem, what do I want to say and what does the poem want to say? The idea was born out of anger, frustration, and fascination. I felt more accepted in this small shop than I did in many churches, I am a little bit rough around the edges I guess sometimes awkward or taken up with caution so I understand, and I hope it does not come across that it is a bullet shot at the church but more that it, was an awakening for me that there is more to church than a building that relationship and religion are not the same and that love and fear are opposites, and spending time with more open eyes I noticed that we all are churches housing a LOVING God, no matter who you are.
When writing the poem at first it was a bit angry and I did not want to make this poem a selfish act, then I felt like I went to the opposite and I tiptoed around what I wanted to say and I noticed that I was not sure what I wanted to say but I know that there was something.
Now I have another idea but it is half baked I will wait before I speak more about it but I have realized that I am not sure where I want to go with it, and I also realized that talking about it helps, (talking to the right people) and action helps it to develop and grow.
Now I am more excited about the small little feelings because I am starting to trust my feelings and this is a special place to be, even if none can see it, you feel it, behind that blank you see what it can be, trust it.
Thank you for reading and waiting patiently
Peace and Love.